I have officially finished my first week of "teaching". I include the quotes because so far...well so far this is what I've done: I've been handed a lesson 30 seconds before class and told to just teach it. The teacher will then sit in the room and either take the chance to breath for the first time all day or simply grades papers. Other times I've been told to talk to the kids. For 50 mins. About anything. Just make sure it's English.
I've got a wide range of kids, from ages 12-17, with an even wider range of levels of English. Some are almost fluent. Others panic when I look at them because they're not sure if I've just introduced myself or told them that I've come from America to take over their homeland and enslave their families.
I've also encountered different levels of support from my coworkers. The department head has pretty much told me I can do whatever activities and culture teachings I want (again as long as it's in English). Another refused to speak English in a meeting with me and the other Auxiliar. All I really got from her rapid-fire rant was that she didn't agree (No estoy de acuerdo. No estoy de acuerdo). Whether she was pissed about our presence, our program, the general education system, or our existence, I'm not entirely clear on. Luckily I'm not teaching any classes with her.
All week I was reminded how much I love working with kids and teaching (and since they're synonymous here in Spain, talking as well). But it also reminded me how broken the education system is worldwide.
But that's a topic for another post. Instead I feel like I should take this time to apologize to my current idol, the person I'd have dinner with, if I could choose anyone, living or dead: Lady Gaga.
In one of my younger classes a girl asked me how to translate "Lady Gaga" into Spanish. Not wanting to go into the explanation of the idiom "gaga over someone." I just said that it didn't mean anything, Gaga's just a sound. Which started the following Abbott and Costello-esque exchange:
Student: So it mean nothing?
Me: Right.
Student: Nada?
Me: Um hm.
Student: So in español she is "Princesa de Nada".
Me: Well, no. And I think 'Doña' is closer to 'Lady'.
Student: Doña Nada.
Me (foolishly trying to switch into Spanish for more clarity): No, no. Gaga no significa nada.
Student (trying again): Ok. Que significa?
Me: Nada.
Student: (pause) Nada?
Me: Nada.
Student: Vale. Doña Nada.
So I apologize now Gaga if in the Spanish speaking world you become known as Doña Nada.
Other than that I have just a few observations from my brief time in the Spanish educational world:
1) Kids are pretty much the same worldwide. The younger students all want to be my best friend and will fight to the death to sit next to me or for the chance to ask me if I have a brother or sister. The older ones refuse to speak out of fear of saying something wrong and getting laughed at. And 16 year old boys are incapable of keeping drool in their mouths when a young, mysterious woman is standing in front of them.
2) As Americans, all our greatest fears about other cultures' stereotypes and perceptions of us are true. No matter the inquisitor's age or level of grammatical clarity I always get asked the following:
a) Do you know anyone famous?
b) Are all American's blonde haired and blue eyed? (I'm sorry that my recent cosmetic choices have perpetuated this belief.)
c) Do you like Spanish food? It is better than hamburgers, no?
d) Do you like Eminem?
When I respond by saying, "He's alright" the following follow-up question is thus prompted:
e) What about Two and A Half Men? It is much funnier with Charlie Sheen, no?
And the most disheartening:
f) Has Obama changed anything?
And all I can say without confusing them is, "He tries."
3) Unfortunately there seems to be an inverse correlation with the talent/merit of a Celebrity/Pop Culture phenomena and the rest of the world's ability to properly say their name. For instance most of my students have no trouble saying Hannah Montana, America's Best Dance Crew, and Justin Bieber. However it took me five minutes to decipher Green Day, Tim Burton, and Nirvana from a mash-up of phonetics. And when I told them my favorite movie was "The Royal Tenebaums" they didn't even try to say it.
Side note: I do find comfort in the fact that worldwide Biebs illicits the same response. 12 year old girls screech. 12 year old boys groan. 12 year old class clowns sing "Baby" and dance in their desks.
4) If you're in a developed country, people still find it odd and disturbing that you grew up on a dirt road.
K Learns Spanish: Lesson 2
vaqueros- a) jeans b) cowboys
Yes, this means Vaqueros llevan vaqueros.
fregadero- sink
trenza- braid
coleta- ponytail
coletas- pigtails
Side note: For a fun parlor game, grab your nearest Spaniard and try to explain to them that pigtails can be both braided and unbraided, and either way they are still just called pigtails, not braids.
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